Here are some factors that can affect your confidence in a positive or negative way that I practice weekly as a Coach. I hope these pointers can help you!
1) WORDS ARE YOUR WEAPONS:
- Watch your words and choose them carefully
- The ones you say to yourself and others can bring life or death, they are seeds that go into a person and produce fruit. Choose them carefully!
- Think about what music or podcasts you listen to, books and articles you read, movies and videos you watch. If they are not flowing with supportive, educative, positive, inspirational language, think twice before they flow into your spirit and mindset. It’s your mind that carries ALL your weapons for you to gain confidence!
- Who you hang with determines the amount you “bang” with! If you want to be a powerful & strong leader, it requires being confident. If the people in your life are trying to to tear you down, that will tear you down and eat away at your confidence. Like Missy Elliott says, “I been knocked down but I had to get up. I had some fake friends so I had to switch up!”
- I strongly encourage you to have a look at your ‘peeps list’ and ask yourself if you who need to cut out that isn’t adding value to your life? Who can’t you cut out but need to have serious conversation with about your relationship to help make it better.
- Confront and let the truth set you both free!
This list could include: friends, parents, girlfriend/boyfriend, co-workers, teammates, teachers, coaches, skill trainers
3) SHORT TERM GOALS USE DATA EVIDENCE:
- Journal and/or be aware of the victories you have in your journey. It might be journaling of data in your workouts, ex: how many shots did you make yesterday out of 500? How many do you make today? Was there improvement?
- Another example: What’s your winning % as a player? Did you play one on one today? 3 on 3? Did your team win today in practice? Write down and collect as many times as you win and lose, divide the loss by wins, that’s your win %. Coaches have them, some in the WNBA/ NBA and NCAA use a +/- system that is a simple score to determine if a team scores more or less than the opponent while they were in the game.
Check out this INFORMATIVE article below, courtesy of Cody Toppert:
This is a proof of concept for you that you can play!
4) WATCHING FILM or BEFORE/AFTER PHOTOS:
- Seeing yourself at the start and then presently, you gain a whole bunch of SWAG seeing your improvement. The pictures (NON PHOTOSHOP) of your body, after months of workouts, will tell a story. Your first workout and the the film of your 200th workout will tell a story you want to see time and time again. Embrace it, see it, feel it, that’s you! IF you are working consistently then you will see the evidence that there is a KING OR QUEEN inside you. Film doesn’t lie!
5) DELETE THE “GRAM”
- I don’t care how much you like it, IT DOES NOT HELP YOU WITH YOUR CONFIDENCE. If you run a business, let someone else run it or if you just want to post and get out, then do that but man, that’s hard. The GRAM is addictive and all you do is compare, retaliate to negative comments and it’s a huge leach of your time, energy and power! The “likes” gives you a false sense of confidence…LET IT GO!
6) LOVE LANGUAGES ARE IMPORTANT (this is applicable for Coaches/Leaders):
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one one of the best books I have read
- If you are in a position of leading kids, you MUST find out what they relate to. How do you get them to buy in? How do you get their attention? How do you love them? How do you help them feel good? Empower them? Answer is LOVE LANGUAGE. You Have to speak their “love language.”
- Touches physically (high fives, fist bumps, etc)
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of kindness
- Gift giving/external rewards
- Quality time
As a player you might want to search out Coaches who “speak your language!”
7) HONOR YOUR LIFE SOURCE:
– You got two in your life; a higher being and parents/legal guardians or mentors. My point is, you can’t access what you don’t honor. If this relationship is not healthy, it affects how you feel about yourself.
- Parents/legal guardians or mentors:
They made you, they created you, they raised you. You don’t have to agree with them but you have to respect them, honor them. If you don’t, it 100% adds strife to your life. You won’t have peace and that may affect your SWAG. I see so many kids at games, tournaments and practices being disrespectful to their parents with their body language, words and attitudes. Some were so bad, I had to address them, apologize, and punish them. One kid threw a water bottle at his dad. It took all of the Jesus in me not to spank that 14 year old right then and there.
So as leaders we can’t TOLERATE, WE HAVE TO DECIMATE! We have to address and put that poisonous behavior to rest. It does affect their confidence and adds stress to their game/life.
2. Higher being:
People that read The Grind on the regular, know how I feel about the “big fella,” but it’s why I follow Jesus. It’s why I do my best to live a life that pleases God. Jesus’ words in red in the Bible are clues to gain faith, hope, love and confidence in this life. Why wouldn’t you start your day by connecting with your higher being?
Think about your iPhone. If it doesn’t work, you PLUG it into its LIFE SOURCE (the charger). When the battery is low, you PLUG IT IN! Well when you get LOW, you PLUG into your higher being and connect!
As always, KEEP GETTING AFTER IT!